April 12th, 2026
Deepings happening here:
- For once I feel proud of myself and I want to enjoy being a good person to redeem my soul in everything I do. So my soul can rest and be relaxed so I know what relief means. I can do this job easier than any other job I have had in the past. Less pain mentally and physical means more longevity in everything. Happiness, discipline and trusting my own person. What I can do for myself is to show God that he has given me his strength through my actions. God has always wanted to project strength through what he loves and he loves everyone including me. My soul needs to respect the boundaries I have and now I can do that for myself. Unlike the people around think I am not doing anything good accept for working... I have nothing to say to any of you because I don't need to. All of you will just keep bashing or being "proud". When y'all say that you have a fake tone and then when you say things like "I'm proud of you" it is a bandage effect/tone. You shouldn't fling that word PROUD around all the time, use good job instead. *I can't be proud of myself just for getting a job, I am proud of myself, right yes.... to a point... but... I will eventually get the satisfaction that I am proud of myself and have others being proud of me 24/7 even on those low days.
- How am I doing on carnivore??? It is more like keto-vore now. I've been getting a little to dirt keto and carnivore lately. It is okay though slowly working my way out of it. I'm wanting to get back into the lions diet again. It is hard to do that even just for 37 days. My 37 days were not absolutely beef salt and water. It took me a few to adjust. I have gone a little down hill and with the keto-vore. The lions diet very good for me. I know that the lion diet will be a regular every single day thing for me one day. I am just now getting a slight ease from being stressed since December from loosing my car and not having a job. Anything I need for my sanity I am purchasing and being able to take care of whatever I need. Sure, what I have done so I can take care of whatever I need isn't exactly smart. Any of that I can get out of easily now. It is nothing to serious but it is my first credit type thing and I am going to use it mostly for labs and getting my thyroid to peak condition. I'm doing waiting, the longer I wait the more I am going to sit in this mental state that could be better.
- Wants for this month, I am going to have a full day at a rock wall gym slash gym for my first time at a rock wall gym in a long time. This is a little on the pricey side of things. It is going to be worth it I can already tell. The gym I have gone to has got limited access to things. It is a good gym but I am bored of it now. I have been thinking that I want some boxing classes when I loose 15 more pounds. Like I want to get punched in the gut with this much fat, owe.